The right fit

Anybody who has ever worn a pair of tight shoes knows that nothing is more painful than having your feet cramped into a pair of shoes that do not fit. It is critical to have shoes and clothes that fit right, but, what about other elements in our lives like people and occupations?

In life, as we experience personal growth or simply assess the state of our lives, old relationships or activities often do not fit. Yet, we hang on to alliances and occupations that impede our spirituality, choke our  integrity, stifle our creativity, or crush our dreams of a better, brighter life. I want to encourage you to do some deep reflection and boldly eliminate from your life those elements  that simply do not fit.

Sometime ago, I attended a lecture that was given by Dr Ralph Gonsalves, Prime Minister of St Vincent and the Grenadines, in honour of the late Dr Alister Francis, the first Principal of the Antigua State College. During the lecture, Dr Gonsalves recounted how, when he was a boy, his mother had bought him a pair of shoes so that he could look his best on the day he wrote his qualifying exams for high school. He told his very captive audience how happy he was to have new shoes and how grateful he was to his mom for caring so much about how he looked on that important day. But, there was a problem. The shoes were a half size small. Now, these were not the days when merchandise are returned to stores on various pretexts even after they have fulfilled the purpose for which they were bought. Dr Gonsalves' mother had bought the pair of shoes and he was compelled to keep it and wear it.

 Since hard earned cash had been spent for the shoes and Ralph's mother would not have her boy, whom she was very proud of, attend that crucial exam in his bare feet as he used to attend school, he donned his tight shoes and journeyed to the town to write his examination. Dr Gonsalves recalled how, early in the exam, he realised he had to make a decision. It was either he endured the blistering pain of his tight shoes and fail his exam or take them off so that he could focus his attention on his assessment. Dr Gonsalves wrote his eleven plus exam in his bare feet and today he credits the course of his life to that decision to take off his tight shoes.

You may not be enduring the pain of literal tight shoes nor the discomfort of tight underwear but is there a person or people in your life that you know you should get rid of like shoes that you have outgrown? Are you engaged in a job or pastime that is injurious to your ultimate progress? The relationship or occupation might have been perfect once but now you have come to realise it no longer fits. What will you do?

Let me hasten to state that I am not encouraging you to drop your dear, loyal friends just because you have experienced some social mobility and they have not, or you're now earning more and they are still stuck with the same net amount. I am talking about relationships that threaten your personal growth in life, particularly, your spiritual growth. Furthermore, I am not suggesting that you become hostile to or ostracize people you once loved. The idea is for you to reflect on your relationships and, perhaps, reorganize how you relate to some people. Consider your daily activities on your job or in your pasttime and decide whether what you do is promoting your all round development.

The longer you stay in tight shoes, the more damage you do to yourself. Similarly, the longer you hold on to relationships or occupations that cause you pain or constrict your personal development, the greater will be the damage to your future. You may even pay with your life for holding on to an abusive relationship.
.
Changing a relationship takes courage. Often, it is easier or, in the short term, more expedient to maintain the status quo so we rationalise our alliances rather than face the hardship of justifying a change or adjusting to a new state without the individual or individuals in our lives. It may be that the individual or occupation is adding something to your life that you feel you cannot live without like financial security, material comfort or social recognition but deep in your soul, you know that the relationship/s are not the right fit for you because you cannot be your best self with that individual/s.

The bottomline is this: You just have to do some introspection and ask yourself where you are heading. What are your goals in life? Will your present situation hinder or enable your progress? I know it is not easy to leave friends behind, stop doing something that brings pleasure or resign from a job that you have invested time and energy in. However, if you are to fulfil your God appointed purpose in life, you have to make hard decisions and trust God to bring you to your Canaan.

"'Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified ... for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you'" (Deuteronomy 31:6 NIV) Be kind to yourelf. Kick off your tight shoes.